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IMPORTANT NOTICE regarding COVID-19 ("Coronavirus")

As public health policies evolve, there may be a number of events that will be cancelled or postponed.

We will be updating our event listings as and when we find out about these changes. Since this is a rapidly evolving situation, we encourage you to confirm any event listings directly with the event venues or organizers, or check via social media for the latest information.

Is a member of: SOSFest 2010

Rappers Are People does three things before writing a song: Disgusting McDonald's Indulgence, Be Astonished by BBC's Planet Earth, and consume at least 30 minutes of disturbing MTV Canada scripted reality television. The Joe and Mikey Maybe know what being a rapper is all about. They have invested a large portion of their earnings in priceless automobiles. They know gas and oil can only last so long. Then they will have expensive antiques to deal in. They have purchased a large white van that they daily fill with electronics then drive to Calgary and pawn them. They each have three wives. All six of them do not know about each other. All six of them cannot tell Joe and Mikey apart. They are moving to the United States because they want privatized health care and Marlboro's. Both of them have no parents. Both of them miss their parents. Both of them have talented therapists who like to role play. Both of them take heavy medication. Both of them drink everything Camp Lo raps about. Like Courvoisier. The Joe and Mikey Maybe understand what it means to be a rapper: Insecurity, Superiority Complex, A Busy Mind, I'm talking about a Busy Mind that's Largely Disconnected from the Heart. And perhaps most important, they have a Rattling and Insufferable History of Victimization Consisting Entirely of Elementary School Abuse via Bullying and Similarily Overwhelming Insensitivity From Teachers and Students Alike. And huge Hands and Feet; They've Got Huge Hands and Huge Feet, whatever that means. They know what it's like to go three plat in a week flat without even a myspace. They use to like to draw and read but the world made them hard and the world is being sand blasted for it. The world will know what they have made. This thing, this malignant thing, it will mow down rain forests. It will mix oxygen with everything; a thousand tidal waves won't quench the heat that harkens when they wreak their havoc. All that will remain will be a dwindled solid mass of smoldering diamond dense darkness.

You asked, R.a.P. answered. And now we're all gone. And THIS is how it all started.

 

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